The one thing I’m sure you want less of in life is drama. Whether it’s in your family, friendships, church, or the workplace, it’s exhausting carrying the weight of unresolved conflict. That alone is a good reason to follow Jesus’ teaching on settling matters quickly.
He said that if you’re in the middle of offering something to God and remember a conflict with someone, pause and go be reconciled first (Matthew 5:23-24).
But do you want to know what’s even better than settling matters quickly? Avoiding unnecessary conflict altogether. Here are three ways to do that.
Apologize In Advance
Many issues start when someone gets offended. If you sense there’s even a slight chance something you say could offend, try this: “I apologize in advance if this comes across the wrong way, offending you is not my intention.” This isn’t about people-pleasing; it’s about disarming offense before it takes root.
Avoid Controversial Topics
You already know which topics tend to lead to arguments; politics and certain theological debates, especially where minds are already made up. Trying to convince someone in those moments often invites more drama than fruit. When I’m pushed to agree or disagree, I simply say, “That’s one way to look at it.”
Don’t Assume The Worst
Imagine you’re driving and, for no apparent reason, the driver behind you honks loudly. You could assume they’re angry at you…or that they’re trying to get someone else’s attention. Both are assumptions, so why choose the one that leads to frustration?
The wise believer doesn’t just settle matters quickly—they take intentional steps to keep unnecessary conflict from starting at all.
